This past weekend our boys and girls in orange and white temporarily abandoned their moniker of ITC, and took upon themselves the noble mantle of ‘”armory'” in honor of their training center because of a technical glitch, and competed at the Jim Green Invitational at Illinois College. In the process, they fulfilled an Ancient Prophecy handed down by the Ancient Prophet Knotreel during the long lost Time of Founding:
When the Indy Team o” Corn discards their normal monikor in favor of their Place o” Training, then shall Queue Ech (with an ”e”) break the record set by Eff Aye. So too, shall the Daughter of Murphy break the record that does not exist, and immediately after jump three times, and she shall jump three times (inside) farther than any other ITC three jumper (inside). Finally, there shall be at this place of Ovals the fastest two-by-four (inside) in the history of the club.
This prophecy has baffled ITC scholars for countless years, until this past Saturday when it was fulfilled, and it all became clear:
Quenten (with an ”e”) Hardawy broke the Indoor 60m record (previously held by Fuad Akinbiyi) with a time of 07.07 seconds.
Erin Murphy broke the 60m dash record with a time of 08.38 seconds. The whole ‘”record that does not exist'” comes from the fact that your Friendly Neighborhood Webmaster put into the database an incorrect time of 08.39 due to an error in the results of last week”s Titan Open. He never deleted it, because he hasn”t yet gotten around to adding functionality to the results database for editing erroneously entered entries.
Erin Murphy also set the indoor Triple Jump record with a jump of 10.01 meters.
The last line about two-by-fours really confused ITC scholars seeing as how trees can”t run even when they”re alive, let alone after being chopped down and turned into building materials. However, after the men”s 4x200m relay team broke the club record with a time of 1:32.40, it became clear that Knotreel just got his numbers mixed up (happens to the best of us).
Now for personal record time:
Jayme Roberts had a PR in the 60m dash with a time of 07.34.
Beau Barber had an Indoor PR in the 400m with a time of 56.28.
Ben Kanevsky had an Indoor PR in the 200m with a time of 24.39.
And last but not least, Tare Emuze and Abby Ralph both had their first meet with the club this past weekend. Welcome to the club. Hope you had fun, and if you didn”t, well, I hope you have fun next week (or the week after that, or the week after that, or…).
As a final thought: 5K. Indoors. Apparently, that”s a thing. Think about that for a second. Not only do people running a 5K indoors have to run for a ridiculously long time at a ridiculously high speed, but they also have to count to 25. In their heads. While running really fast. I can”t count up to 25 when I”m sitting in a comfy chair and with full access to my fingers and toes (which alas, only go up to 20). If two weeks ago, you”d have told me that a more horrible race exists than the 600m, I would have laughed in your face. Now, I am not so sure.
Anyway, my hat”s off to Victoria Knauf, Joe Zeller, Matt Birkel, and Adam Sukiennik for having such supreme confidence in their ability to keep a mental tally while exhausted. You deserve all the cookies, and like half the ice cream.
